Jul. 11th, 2013

rainbowgummibears: (Amber - Duckber)
Tuesday wasn't such a good day for me. Depression is a stupid thing, I hate that I can't control how it makes me feel sometimes and that its just something I have to deal with. It frustrates me to no end. On Tuesday I was just in a "everything sucks" kinda mood. DDR was really difficult, I was like half a beat behind on every song and I just wasn't into it. I finished my exercise program though so I suppose that in itself is an achievement. Work was meh, and when I got home I felt just lethargic and didn't even want to make the effort to brush my teeth before bed. I made myself do it though, which is more than I can say for when I've felt like that before. Its really the most frustrating when even simple things that should be automatic like that take so much effort. I couldn't bring myself to care about doing the dishes, and I took a nap in the afternoon before work, so it was like... a partial achievement day? I didn't emotionally eat, so that was a good thing.

Yesterday was much better, I was way more into existing, lol. I took a break from the DDR and did some exercise bike and treadmill, and that was pretty good. I worked till after midnight though doing displays and floorsets at CC and omg, it was so tiring since crazy manager wound up being in charge of the whole thing... and she pushes us so fucking hard. I probably burned a million more calories just in those few hours. My body is so sore today. I'm trying to move as little as possible XD But it seems my mental state is quite better at least.

Before work yesterday I finally got my first week's reward. I meant to get it on Sunday but I totally forgot before I left Buildabear. There we have these My Little Pony figures that are blind packs so you don't know which one you're getting. With my discount they're only $2, but I really couldn't justify just buying these things, as much as I want them (and as much as I shouldn't really have to justify anything lol). So I've decided that every week that I do well, not only in my calorie counting, but other habits, I can get a pony. So last night, I got my first pony:



Somehow I feel like getting Princess Celestia for my first week is appropriate :3 Hopefully Sunday I shall get another pony! I don't feel like Tuesday was that much of a hindrance to my goals, as I still exercised and ate right and made myself care about things (excluding the dishes but who really cares dishes really XD)

Now its time for lunch... if I can get my sore body up to the kitchen XD

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Ruka

August 2013

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